Now I know

I love writing ever since I can remember. I used to have a diary where I jotted down things that happened in my life, good things and bad things, big things and small things. I write about them all.

When I'm happy, I write, when I'm sad I write, when I'm pissed I write and when I am all stressed out I write some more.

I remembered there was one time I was so upset with my parents and I has a hard time to express how dissapointed I was with their actions, I wrote to them. When I was younger and having this long distance relationship with my better half, I wrote to him alot. I preferw writing than talking. When you write(or type), you can screen through what you wrote and if you feel it's not appropriate, you can always delete or undo and write something better. But, when you talk, terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata memang binasa.

Hence, the reason for this blog. For me to express myself, for me to record the memories I have, the experienced I had and acting as a stress reliever. But, writing for everyone to see has it risk.

I don't like to judge how people live their lives. I am a firm believer of 'buat baik dibalas baik' and vice versa. So, when I don't judge others, people won't judge me. That's one of the not so good traits I have according to my better half ; for thinking everyone thinks like me.

Yup, I am a working mother with 3 adorable cuties. Yup, I don't have a maid and this is not something new, I have never had a maid even while the cuties were much smaller. They were sent to daycare and that was the choice that we made. And yup, ever since nearly 3 years ago, after my mom retired, due to her persistance we let her took care of the cuties. And why did I agree?

One ; they are all schooling now, hence it won't be taxing to my mom. No changing of diapers, no need to bath or dress them and no need to feed them. They have been trained to do this all by themselved.

Two ; they will only be at my mom's house max 2.5 hours daily, just for them to have their lunch, bath, perform zuhur prayer, change and proceed to their religious class

Three ; to make sure my mom not having to do any thing, I cook lunch everyday. I will send them to my mom's house after I dropped the cuties to school.

So, is it fair for you to judge my life. I am not saying my life is hard nor am I saying your life is easier. Everybody made choices in life and our choices may not be the same choice and we choose what we feel suit us the most and this is how I choose to live my life.

And to those who judge me, and said bad things behind my back, well, I can't stop you and I am not going to. And to those who choose to believe what others say about me, means you don't know me well enough. I don't take what people say about anybody, I make my own calls. And this calls will be made by my own encounter with the individuals and not by what others have encountered with them.

At least, when I come back from work, I am looking at the faces of my "more than anyone could ask for" better half and my 3 cuties whom love me for what I am and not someone they wanted me to be. And perhaps that's what pisses you off....cause you have nothing! And hence, being unhappy with your life, you just want to drag other into your unhappiness....

To all my bloggers friends who have been so kind and not judging me or even comparing my life with yours, I honestly and sincerely value your friendship. And to those silent readers who kept on supporting my writing, thanks for reading. You may not know, but I do appreciate that alot and that's what keep me going. And to the rest judgemental visitors....since I don't have anything nice to say...I am not going to say anything....AT ALL....